Consciously or subconsciously, all our lives, we make a to-do list to keep our roaster clean. But, if you are a mother, you'd indeed know that a baby is much more than a to-do list. And, if you're a new mother, brace yourself because there's a lot to come.
Right from conception, a woman experiences a wave of emotions. She goes through the delivery process, baby's responsibilities, disturbed sleep schedule, post-partum depression, and she tries to give her best. However, amidst the oozing emotions, at a certain point, she starts feeling overwhelmed, downhearted and disturbed; that's when a mom-guilt sneaks.
Yes, mom guilt is entirely real, and it can be damn stressful. So, let's first try to be on the same page regarding what exactly mom's guilt is?
What is Mom-Guilt?
In the true sense, mom-guilt is a feeling of not being enough as a parent.
In simple terms, the guilty feeling you get every time you perform any actions that may directly or indirectly affect your child or strike a doubt in your parenting. For instance,
- Getting back to work after maternity leave,
- Indulging in self-care
- Unable to spend more time with the baby
- Not breastfeeding
- Letting the kids have screen time
- Just being done at times
We aren't here to unrealistically motivate you to push your limits. We are here to tell you that it's completely fine to feel the guilt. It's no big deal, everyone goes through it, and all you need to do is pause, relax and breathe. Well, that won't be enough though and that's why we've curated a list of ways to overcome mom's guilt.
How to Overcome Mom-Guilt?
Perfection is a myth
Every mother strives to their best in raising their child. No flaws, just perfection. Sounds good; feels best because this scenario of perfection resides in your head. Anyone advising you on the tactics to be a perfect mother is either a to-be mom or not a mother yet.
The only formula to become a perfect mother is to let go of perfectionism.
Drop other's idea of parenting
Okay, let's get this straight with an example.
Every mother cooks for their children but the cooking methods are different. The point is, irrespective of age; you are a big fan of the dishes your mother cooks; because it was her who inculcated healthy eating habits, she cooked with her heart and soul. She always knew your preferences and still does, and none can tell her do it the other way around.
Similar goes with the idea of raising your children. The goal might be same, but the ways of parenting differ, and that's totally fine.
Wisely choose your pillars
It is significant to choose your support system when it comes to motherhood. Drop the idea of like-minded people, as in this phase you need more like-hearted people.
The pillars you choose as your support system should empathize, value your decisions, or help you evaluate them. Most eminently, one should be a good listener, not the one who gives never-ending unsolicited opinions and indeed not the ones who don't share responsibilities.
Get out of your phone
At times, your phone may be the most accessible escape from the hectic routine. However, to be precise, your phone is a tunnel of illusions and not a healthy escape.
Social media content is not everything it shows, so get out of the FOMO because you aren't missing anything life-saving. Don't let the fancy setup of a few seconds by mothers on social media fool you to doubt your parenting.
One can't give something that one doesn't have, right?
If you aren't happy, you can't keep your baby happy, and that's why it is significant to prioritize self-care over everything else.
It can be an hour reading, stepping out alone, a spa day, a dinner date with your spouse, or anything which makes you feel more of you is worth implementing.
Above all, trust your instincts and believe in yourself. Years after, when your kids turn out to be amazing humans, you'll feel that the mom's guilt made no difference. (Because we know that you're too lit for the mum-guilt)