8 Things Parents Should Avoid in Front of Their Child

8 Things Parents Should Avoid Around Kids

To protect their children from what they view as "wrong things," parents will often go to great lengths. Many parents go to great lengths to protect their children from hurtful thoughts, feelings, and situations. But we do many things that can hurt our kids in the long run.

A parent should never do any of these eight things when their children are around.

1) Fighting in Front of Kids:

A highly immature response to any problem is to resort to violence. All those unpleasant feelings, including anger, hurt, pain, disappointment, and so on, are accurate. You are fighting with your partner, whether verbally or physically, is not a healthy or constructive approach to handling these emotions.

It may surprise some of you how big of an impact fighting has on kids. A study found that compared to typically developing youngsters, those whose families experienced mild to moderate levels of conflict had smaller cerebellums. Instability in mental health has been associated with the cerebellum.

If your partner says something and you want to respond with something equally strong, but your child is nearby, sit down with them and have a grown-up talk instead of getting into a fight. Make a pact to handle disagreements this way and become each other's accomplices. Your relationships will benefit greatly, and your child will develop strong communication skills.

2) Drinking or Smoking in Front of Kids:

Children who see their parents consume alcohol are more likely to begin drinking at a young age and are less likely to think of it as "harmful" or "bad," according to several studies. These children are also twice as expected to "abuse" alcohol and have a binge-drinking episode compared to the general youth population.

They witness us 'losing control' when we imbibe in front of our kids. Plus, we are the ones who should be looking out for their welfare and providing for them. Their mental and social well-being suffer significantly as a result, and their feeling of safety and confidence takes a significant hit.

On the other end of the range is alcoholism, which is not something we intend to pursue. The extent to which even social drinking (and smoking) can impact children, nevertheless, may surprise most parents. Although we may not be drinking too much and may be well below the safe limits for our consumption, youngsters lack the maturity and perspective to comprehend this.

Keeping the bottle and glass out of their reach is safer if you have a young child in the house. Wait to drink alcohol at house parties after your youngster has fallen asleep. Try not to drink at all when you're out with friends. Only bring children to this kind of gathering if you think that is feasible.

3) Bribing for Good Behavior:

Bribing may temporarily stop a child's misbehaviour. Bribing a youngster, directly or in their presence, may temporarily gain obedience but harms their mental development. Parents accidentally promote unjust success by rewarding good behaviour.

Such approaches undermine the development of integrity, responsibility, and intrinsic motivation in impressionable children. Bribery reinforces that external rewards drive compliance rather than proper understanding and cooperation. This stunts the child's self-discipline, emotional intelligence, and social abilities.

4) Preaching Without Practicing:

Brush your teeth first thing in the morning and again before bed, wash your hands after coming home from a long day, use your silverware and dishes after each meal, etc. These are just a few healthy habits every parent teaches their child.

Despite this, many of us skip brushing our teeth before bed, rush to the kitchen for a drink of water or a snack when we get home from work, and, in most households, mom is the one who sets the table and cleans it afterwards, while dad turns on the TV.

If you want your children to do something, you should do it yourself. If you want your children to develop good habits, set a good example by doing the same.

5) Using Sarcasm or Name-Calling:

Another one of those hazy concepts is that it differs from yelling at your child. Most of us will be careful not to use profanity or slurs when our kids are present. Remember to avoid being sarcastic. Many parents may gripe about how today's children are too intelligent and often interrupt them. What we don't realize, though, is that the kids are picking up on and mimicking our sarcasm.

A youngster is intelligent even if they can't define sarcasm. They have an innate ability to understand nonverbal cues such as vocal inflexion, tone, and the speaker's emotional state. This is how they'll know your "Oh, you're SUCH a sweetheart!" comment to your partner was unintentional. Once again, you're grateful that you forgot!

Whether it's your spouse, mother-in-law, neighbour, maid, or instructor, they can see when you're disrespectful. No amount of sugarcoating will hide the truth from children.

6) Displaying Intimacy in Front of Kids:

This is also an obvious choice. Having sexual relations or engaging in any misbehaviour while your child is there is not a good idea. The early exposure of today's youth to sexually explicit media, including movies, music, television, and now the internet, is a contributing factor to the early onset of puberty in our society.

We may reason that kids are "too young to understand" and so "it's okay" or "no big deal"; however, any competent child psychologist would consistently warn against exposing children to such stuff at a younger age.

Kids need to know that healthy physical contact is a great way to express feelings of love, affection, empathy, and sympathy. Physical displays of affection are essential to help your child develop this crucial social and personal ability, even if it is best not to become messy. In such a case, cuddle up to your significant other, kiss them on the cheek, or wrap your arm around them.

7) Using Foul Language:

A parent's role extends beyond ensuring their child's physical health to shaping their personality and how they act. Parents significantly impact their children's language development, an essential part of childhood. Children mimic the speech patterns of people around them, from the first babblings to the development of complete phrases.

To help their children understand what their parents are saying, many parents use "Parentese," a simplified and exaggerated version of everyday speech. But it is not just about picking the right words but also about setting a good example. Inadvertently using foul or unsuitable language around a youngster highlights the consequences of a parent's language choices.

Unintentionally teaching youngsters the terminology and inappropriate emotional expressions associated with swearing is a double-edged sword. Consequently, when they experience similar emotions, youngsters may mimic the conduct they learned, using harsh language to communicate their feelings.

You significantly impact your child's emotional and linguistic development as a parent. Setting a good example at home by communicating properly helps kids learn to express themselves without damaging words. Parents unintentionally instil values while developing a child's linguistic skills by emphasizing the significance of modeling their teachings.

8) Excessive Mobile Phone Use:

We, parents of the next generation, find this one very poignant. Compared to our parents, we are incredibly proficient with technology. But we are all dealing with the generational issue of being too dependent on electronic devices. Our screen-heavy lives have become synonymous with a host of health problems, including chronic headaches, stress, watery eyes, and poor sleep.

Myopia (short-sightedness), diabetes, obesity, and countless other lifestyle-related diseases are the subsequent stages of these disorders. The terrifying part is that there are natural effects of screen addiction on the brain as well. Excessive screen time can cause a decrease in cortical thickness, cognitive impairment, grey matter atrophy, white matter integrity loss, and incorrect dopamine functioning.

Also Read:- 8 Effective Ways to Reduce Screen Time in Children

For these reasons alone, parents should limit their screen time deliberately and severely. The last straw should be the realization that we cannot protect our children from these things if we do not limit ourselves. If the damage can happen to fully-grown adults' brains, think of the problems kids with excessive screen time could face as they age!

A Mom’s Experience

“After reducing my phone use in front of my daughter, I noticed she spends more time reading and less on screens.” – Aarti, Mom of 2

Key Takeaways

In conclusion, parents must work hard to create a healthy, happy atmosphere for their children. A crucial part of this endeavour is controlling your anger with kids. Avoiding certain acts in front of youngsters is essential for their mental health.

Avoiding aggression and disrespect promotes healthy communication and conflict resolution. Avoid negative self-talk and body image talks to avoid spreading lousy self-image. Finally, being honest builds parent-child trust. Parents encourage their child's development by intentionally avoiding these mistakes.

FAQs

1. What should parents avoid in front of their child?

Parents should avoid fighting, bribing, name-calling, drinking, smoking, intimacy, foul language, and excessive phone use in front of kids.

2. How do parents actions affect child behavior?

Children copy what they see. Parents’ behavior directly shapes their communication, emotional health, and confidence.